


Stardust

by Dalankar



Category: DBSK|Tohoshinki|TVXQ, EXO (Band), Super Junior
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-28
Updated: 2013-08-28
Packaged: 2017-12-24 21:33:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/944904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dalankar/pseuds/Dalankar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternate ending for 'Close to heaven: Part 2'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stardust

"They will come for you."

 

He looks up at Sungmin. He knows if he was mortal Sungmin would be just light, like the burst of sunlight through a forest canopy or the blinding flash of light reflected off a mirror. But he is not human. And Sungmin looks like he always does. Like he always has and always will. Pale, dark haired and breathtakingly beautiful. And Hyukjae loves him best. Better than Changmin, with his sharp beauty of a bird of prey. Or Jonghyun, with a voice that gave music to the world. Or Yunho, strong and fearless and the best of them all.

Hyukjae has never wanted to hurt them. Because he remembers Yunho standing with him at the beginning of the world and smiling at him as they wove the world as it shook and cried and breathed for the first time. They have had eternity together. But now Hyukjae has found something bigger than eternity.

 

\---

 

_He falls. And when he wakes up, his wings are gone. He looks up at the sky and for the first time in whole of eternity the sun burns his eyes._

_Heaven does not want him anymore._

_\---  
_

Donghae runs back in. Hyukjae see him through a haze of smoke. His hands are full of Baekhyun and Donghae is screaming for Chanyeol and running into the burning shelter. Baekhyun is crying and shaking in his arms and Donghae is going to come out of the house any minute now. Any second. He'll have Chanyeol draped across his back and his face will be black with soot and he'll be coughing and gasping and a little singed.

 

He sets Baekhyun down on to Kyungsoo's waiting hands as Donghee hyung lifts Sehun's head off Jongin's lap and tries to get him to drink water. Jongin's soot stained face is streaked with clean lines of tears and he supports Sehun to lift his body, entirely unconscious of his blistered hands. Joonmyun has Donghae's phone pressed to his ear, hurry please hurry, he's begging and Hyukjae turns and runs.

 

He would have run right in to the burning building, except there is no door. It collapses right infront of his eyes in an explosion of flames and smoke and pieces of home. He freezes, arms pin wheeling as he tries to stop himself from crashing into the inferno.

 

“DONGHAE!”

 

If he had his wings, he could protect Donghae. He would wrap himself around Donghae and would let nothing touch him. Like he had in Paris. And he realises he had taken the wrong turn. He should never have given up his wings, even if he had to always watch Donghae from the side and never touch him, never talk to him, never know what it feels like to kiss him, even then he would have been able to keep Donghae safe. Would have been able to walk in to this fire and pull Donghae out of the flames, Chanyeol clinging to his back.

 

But it doesn't matter. He doesn't need wings to save Donghae.  He takes a step forward. Tries to take another and pulls and pulls and pulls but Donghee hyung is shouting in his ear.

 

"No, Hyukjae, stop it. Stop!"

 

And then there are sirens and men in red and yellow scrambling around everywhere.

 

“Stay back. Stay back. We'll get them out, just stay back.”

 

Donghee hyung goes back to the kids and a few moments later Joonmyun's hand slips in to his own and they watch the flames turn in to smoke and their home in to ashes.

 

\---

 

They say Donghae was protecting Chanyeol, that they found him wrapped around the boy, shielding him from the fire. That the only reason Chanyeol is alive is because of Donghae.

 

Hyukjae tries to tell himself that it's okay. This would have been what Donghae would have wanted. To give his life to protect someone he loved. He buries his face in his knees in a hospital corner and Jungsu hyung sits next to him and lets him shake and cry.

 

They say it's a miracle that Donghae is alive. Only 50% burns to his body and giving doctors more than a slim chance to save him.

 

Hyukjae had been hysterical as they searched for any survivors. If Youngwoon hyung hadn't arrived, with Jungsu hyung and Kyuhyun in tow, Hyukjae would have run straight in to the collapsing house. But Youngwoon hyung had wrapped strong arms around him and kept him safe while a tearful Jungsu hyung did the same for a wild eyed Kyuhyun.

 

Donghae had been in surgery for five hours. Hyukjae had run out of nails an hour in and Jungsu hyung had reached out and steadied him while Youngwoon hyung had gone to check on the kids. On Chanyeol and Sehun who were hurt the worst, on Baekhyun and Jongin who were in shock and Kyungsoo and Joonmyun with white knuckled hands, trying so hard to stay strong for everyone's sake. 

 

Ryeowook has fallen in to an exhausted sleep in Jongwoon hyung's arms, whose dark eyes stares in to the corridor sightlessly.

 

Kyuhyun sits tense in Siwon's arms, whose lips are moving and Hyukjae is sure he is reciting the bible and Kyuhyun's eyes are closed but his cheeks are wet with tears that haven't dried yet.

 

Heechul hyung, who had arrived in a frenzy of anger and fear, with words too loud for a hospital trying to mask the real fear in his wide eyes, had gone to harass the nurses for information. Hankyung hyung had gone with him, a steady hand on his back and gentle voice keeping peace.

 

\---

 

Stable. Donghae is not out of danger yet but they have done all they can. Hyukjae's knees give and Jungsu hyung catches him before he hits the ground. They're crying and laughing and Youngwoon hyung is kneeling by them too and Kyuhyun and Ryeowook and Siwon and Jongwoon hyung and Heechul hyung and Hankyung hyung and they hold on to each other in their overwhelming relief.

 

\---

 

 _Hyukjae_.

 

He flinches as the words slam in to his mind, doubling over and putting his hands to his ears in a futile attempt to block it out.

 

“Please…” he whispers as his knees hit the floor. “Please…”

 

He feels the light burn into his skin and squeezes his eyes shut.

 

_Is this what you wanted?_

 

“Punish me. Destroy me. Scatter me across the stars,” he begs. “But please don't hurt him. Yunho, please.”

 

_You were mine. Yet you chose this human. We created this world together and you chose to give up eternity for him._

 

“I'm sorry I hurt you.” He wants to say this is nothing like before. That he is not Junsu or Jaejoong. But he understands that he had left. That made him exactly like the others. That the hurt would have been the same. Just because one lived for eternity doesn't mean he does not feel pain. And if Yunho wants to strike him down, burn him to dust and cut his threads, then fine. Because he deserves it.

 

Light sears in to his bones. He is glad. Donghae is safe. Donghae is safe.

 

He wakes up to Heechul shaking him on the shoulder.

 

“Yah. Wake up. Why are you falling over in the middle of the corridor?” he asks, smothering his concern with annoyance. He pulls Hyukjae up anyway and keeps an arm around him as they make their way back to the ward.

 

\---

 

Donghae doesn't get better. Infection, they say. Unforseen complications. Donghae spends the next few days in and out of surgery. He doesn't wake up once. Hyukjae watches with a numb sort of horror, having used up all his tears. Sehun and Chanyeol get discharged and Youngwoon hyung and Ryeowook take all the kids back to the restaurant until Donghee hyung can find a replacement shelter. Jungsu hyung forces Siwon to take Kyuhyun home. Kyuhyun leaves, after a lot of arguing and tears and only after Jungsu hyung promises to call him first if something happens.

 

One night, while Jungsu hyung is off getting them some instant noodles, Hyukjae wakes up to light burning his eyelids.

 

 _I'm sorry._ The voice doesn't crash through his skull. It is soft and gentle and Hyukjae understands it is the reason behind why Donghae didn't die in the fire.

 

“This was my choice,” he says and the tears don't stop. “I couldn't let him go without…” and his breath hitches and catches and he feels utterly utterly human. He feels Sungmin's presence like fire, like the burn of a glowing red ember on his skin.

 

“I thought I might… I thought maybe I could…”

 

_Even after everything, you really thought you would be able to change this?_

 

“Yes. Always.” He doesn't look at Sungmin. Doesn't lift his head. “For him, always.”

 

\---

 

Hyukjae lifts his face up to the night sky. He cannot see the stars, the city is too bright. But he knows they’re there. He knows atleast one of them would be watching. He closes his eyes. The first time he’d found Donghae had been on this rooftop. The last time he’d kissed Donghae had been on this rooftop too.

Hyukjae smiles as the breeze flutters around him and it almost feels like Donghae, flowing around him, embracing him with cool arms. The restaurant is closed for the night and everyone must be asleep already. But Hyukjae can’t sleep. Fire still burns in his dreams and fills his nightmares. Kyuhyun would make fun of him for his red eyes in the morning but he’d put an extra sugar cube in his tea and tell him to drink up because ‘hyung, sugar is good for you’.

Hyukjae doesn’t believe him. But he drinks anyway because the shadows still cling to Kyuhyun’s  eyes too. And as much as Junsu hyung tries to assert some semblance of normality to their lives, none of them really wants to let go. Donghae is there, in every room, in every cup, plate and spoon, in the way Ryeowook’s hands shake as he plates a dish or the faraway look in Youngwoon hyung’s eyes. And Hyukjae is afraid that he’ll forget because human memory is frail like that, the way Donghae would smile at him in the morning, or the sound of his laugh and warmth of his hands. Hyukjae wonders why he still clings on to this life when the reason he came down to earth is gone.

 

“Hyung?” Hyukjae wipes at his face and turns around. It’s Chanyeol. Donghee hyung hasn’t found a place for the kids yet but Jungsu hyung doesn’t mind having the kids at the restaurant. Hyukjae loves them desperately.

 

“You should be asleep,” he admonishes gently. Chanyeol smiles, ducking his head. His hair has mostly grown back and if Hyukjae didn’t know, he’d never guess Chanyeol had almost died in a fire.

 

“Sehunie was worried about you,” Chanyeol tells him and Hyukjae smiles.

 

“Just Sehunie?” he teases.

 

“I was worried too hyung.” Hyukjae’s breath catches at the sincerity in Chanyeol’s voice. He walks over to Chanyeol and throws an arm around his shoulders.

 

“I’m sorry to make you worry,” he kisses Chanyeol’s hair softly. Chanyeol leans closer to him eagerly.

 

“We don’t want you to leave us too, hyung,” Chanyeol whispers and Hyukjae pulls him in to his arms and holds him close.

 

Donghae had left him his family.

 

“I’m not going anywhere,” he promises and Chanyeol’s long arms wrap tighter around him.

 

Maybe he hasn’t lost his home after all.

 

***

 

 


End file.
